Didn’t see this coming, years 2001 – 2002 it seemed like our second home was in clinics and hospitals. I was in denial of how serious my husband condition was, I couldn’t see pass the moment, and then it got real. Long hospital stays, ICU, Doctor’s meeting me in the hallway before I get to his room suggesting that I complete a Will.. And then one day it finally hit me that He’s very ill, he’s not recovering, he’s not coming back home, he’s about to leave this earth-never to be seen again… God Help Me!!!
I had all the prayers and supports a person can every have but nothing and no one could prepare me for the grief I felt in my heart knowing that my children & I was about to lose the most important person in our lives #My husband#My 1st Soul Mate#My Best Friend#My Children Father… God Help Me!!!
That day came! I looked down at my phone and seen I had 15 missed calls. The reason I didn’t hear my phone ring is because I was listening to FM radio with earplugs in my ears, and for some weird reason the song, ‘A Change Is Gonna Come’ by Sam Cooke kept playing on this station, over and over and over again, I was so in Awe to listening to the words and this song play over and over again, wondering was the radio station having audio issues, until Finally I snapped out of it, and seen the missed calls.. Have anyone ever experienced anything like that? >>> The messages was Rush to the hospital… God Help Me!!!
Word spread! The hospital was filled with our children, family, friends, neighbors, children, church members & myself. The doctor finally announced ‘He’s Gone’... This is when I went into a transformation I could have never prepared myself for… God Help Me!!!
I managed to maintain my sanity & health during my grieving by developing a personal relation with God, being blessed with lots and lots of prayers,major support from my mom, dad, family & friends, my dear friends from Chicago, & neighbors. I supported and helped my children deal with the lost of their father the best I could with the mental & emotional condition I was in by seeking positive outside influences, ministry, youth programs, & therapy, even though my son refused the services. It was a tough road ahead for us but we got through it>>> day by day, week by week, month by month, year by years… God ‘s Love & Healing Power Helped Us Slowly but Surely!!!!
I offer encouragement to anyone who have lost a loved one, I know it seems so unfair and hard to bare at first, but this is what I discovered:
He reveals the deep things of darkness and brings deep shadows into the light” (Job 12:22).
One of the great mysteries of the Kingdom is how God uses the darkest times in our lives to reveal greater depths of understanding of His ways. The only way we can receive these deeper things is to be driven to the depths of darkness. It is here that we discover important truths that He plans to use in our lives and the lives of others.
There is a process God uses to draw us into greater levels of intimacy. The first phase involves a depth of soul experience that causes great pain in our lives. We seek God for deliverance from the incredible emotional pain this causes. Our primary motivation for seeking God is to get out of our pain.
During this time, God meets us in the depths of darkness. We discover that He never left us but is in the midst of the darkness. We develop a new relationship with God. Gradually our motivation turns from removal of pain to love and intimacy with God. This is the place our Heavenly Father desires us to be.
During this season God will make spiritual deposits into your life. Others will be making withdrawals in the future from your
life as well. You see, God reveals deep things in darkness that will be revealed in the light.
If you find yourself in great distress, know that God will bring your deep shadows into the light. The key to your deliverance is becoming satisfied in God. He becomes your all. He is your life. You will know your deliverance is near when your circumstances simply don’t matter to you anymore.
Love the Lord your God with all your soul and see what things He will show you in the deep things of darkness. (Daily Inspiration by: Os Hillman)
Honestly, This was my only solution to recovery!
Real Talk!, Hope this helps someone!
Sam Cooke – A Change Is Gonna Come (Official Lyric Video)
6 thoughts on “Oh! My God! My Husband Passed Away!”
Sister i felt this to the core o definitely know God i6 using you. I was reading this to my friend at work and when i tell you you touch use. I love you sis and thank you for sharing.
Hey Shiree! Thank you for your support during those difficult times.. You was one of my biggest supporters.. Remember when You, David,and Malik came down from Chicago and took me & the kids to ‘Liberty Land Fair’… We needed that! Love you Sis! And Thanks for the info you sent me… ❤
I felt that an got emotional because I remember that like it was yesterday, when I got the call. You brought tears to my eyes , I’m so proud of you chic. I’m glad you letting God use through writing because it is beautiful. Enjoyed reading blogs
Thank you Ms. Carvennitta… So many people are losing their love ones.. And I remember how devastating it was for me so if I can share any encouragement by sharing my experience with others that’s my contribution to grieving individual & families.. I appreciate your feedback and encouragement.. Love Ya❤
Yes, this brings back so many memories. One of the hardest times of my life! You are such a strong woman to endure half the things you have gone through. I’m so honored to have you as my mom!
Thank you Antoinette that Touched my heart… I had to be strong for you and your brother… 💕